There’s nowhere left to fall when you reach the bottom it’s now or never. *

Two months ago I got back from Vegas and boy howdy did I feel like crap. And it wasn’t just the four days of buffets and booze catching up to me- it was a few solid months of less than stellar food choices along with more drinking than entirely (at all) necessary. It added up to feeling tired and gross. I exercise enough that I hadn’t really put on any weight, but I just didn’t feel good. Having cleaned up my diet the previous fall, I knew what good felt like. This wasn’t it. 

So I took a month off of drinking and ate clean for a solid 3 weeks. (To clarify, when I say “clean” I mean paleo. But more on that later?) I was sleeping insanely well. I had a ton of energy and a pretty stable mood situation. I was enjoying not feeling bloated, sporting some good looking skin, and being a few pounds lighter. Was not drinking and being strict with my food choices a little bit of a drag? It was. But I felt amazing, so I chirped about that more than I complained. 

And then a month ago I ran a race with folks from work and celebrated afterwards with my first beer in 30 days. Ok, times three (the beer, not the days). And, guys, it has been all down hill since then. I don’t know why I’ve been so all or nothing about this- I guess I’m working on accepting that I’m more of an abstainer than a moderator and that fighting that nature isn’t really getting me anywhere. I do know that I feel just as crappy as I did two months ago and it’s time to clean up my act again. 

Which brings me to why I’m telling you this- I’ve been learning so much about what it feels like to actually stick with something and feel a difference from it that I think I want to start blogging about it. Or sharing in some capacity. Here? A new site? I’m not sure. I just know I want to talk about it. Talk about what makes me feel better and function as the best version of myself and see if that can help anyone else do the same. I have trouble just starting things without having some grand plan, but I think I just need to jump in. If this even counts as jumping in since I’ve been thinking about it for months now already. 

Right now all I can say is that I can’t believe the difference a month makes- in either direction. The other piece of this is realizing that there was more than just what I was or wasn’t putting in my body that was making me feel better- the actual act of being disciplined felt pretty damn good, too. And there’s a certain amount of pride that comes with that. And I am totes ready to feel that again. 



One thought on “There’s nowhere left to fall when you reach the bottom it’s now or never. *

  1. I don’t read Gretchen Rubin’s blog but she mentioned this abstainer/moderator thing in her talk at WDS! I’m an abstainer for most things an moderator for sweets.

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